Tags: blasphemy, drink, smirnoff, twitter, vodka
So last Saturday morning, well almost afternoon, I wake up with a little heavy head. Headache in the morning? That’s weird. As I am walking towards the bathroom, it suddenly struck me and I rush to my laptop and opened my twitter stream and as I keep scrolling, I am, as they call it, #facepalm. Let’s start from the beginning.
After the usual boredom that prevails on a Friday evening where you are determined to leave early, but your “deadlines” prevent you from leaving early, I reached home after the freaking Pune traffic and by the time I reach home, the last thing one needs on a Friday night is the cough. I was coughing like an old man dying from TB. At that point of time, my dear roommate decides to play a doctor. She suggests, I have a peg of vodka and I’ll be good as new. Now, I am not the type to drink, even socially. Not about being an “adarsh bharatiya naari” or any moral dilemma. I have just made that lifestyle choice for myself. After pushing her away couple of times, my cough is getting worse and I succumb to her “concerns”. “That’s my girl” comes the answer and she offers me a glass filled with what looks like a water.
“What’s this?”, I ask.
“Is it not supposed to be drunk with water or something?”
“That’s for fun. This is medicine.”
How can you argue with that? So I gulped down whatever 50-60 ml in one shot. Other than the burning sensation in the throat, everything seems fine. And by the time 15-20 minutes pass, I am already thinking to myself, what’s the big deal with drink, I don’t even feel anything. Feeling good for myself and by that time even throat is feeling a lot better. That’s when the fun begins. I am so happy for being sober and get back to twitter. Then I do this
AaruC : Thodi si jo pi li hai. Chori to nahi ki hai. Hick.
Cool, nothing wrong with a little in-joke, right? Right. Unfortunately, I was just starting
AaruC : You know, I’ll provide a letter of reference to @prempanicker whenever he needs one. Looks like a good chap.
Huh? WTF? Where did that come from? And believe it or not, when I was typing this there was nothing wrong about it. And I was just getting warmed up. My creativity knew no bound since then. Here are the samles
AaruC : Friday night. Where is the party? Clearly i’m not drunk.
Now, here is the thing : One shot is the worst thing you can have, because clearly it has affected you, but not enough and you think that you are thinking everything through, other than just feeling positive about the world in general. And also the cough is returning and my dear roommate offers me another peg and this time I take it without asking a single thing, though the quantity looked more than the last time, but one gulp. That’s all it took. Time to strike again.
AaruC : one more shot and that’s it. please don’t follow it with “that’s what she said”
And while in the glory, I decide to watch FRIENDS…
AaruC : while i am still “drunk”, will revive the old glory (that’s what people do right?) Watching FRIENDS. FRIENDS foooreeevvvvaaa
AaruC : S09E08 – one of the best episodes. ever.
AaruC : Am i getting old? Are there no FRIENDS fan left?
AaruC : Somebody i loved all those years ago is also saat samandar paar.
And after long when I am unable to sleep, I decided to take a hot shower, and I strike back with
AaruC : Research : to determine the rate of closing cold water tap in order to maintain constant temperature in shower. anybody working on it?
And subsequently even argued with people on the same. And it doesn’t end here. No sir, it does not. This is what the rest of the world saw and my roommate had a lot more to say about the previous evening. According to her, for couple of hours while I was on the laptop, all I did was shout and laugh out loudly. Clearly, that couldn’t be me. I had couple of drinks, that’s all. It’s then when she smiles, goes back to her room and comes out with a camera and starts to play a video clip. My afternoon couldn’t be any worse. It has the potential of going viral within no time. It has taken, life threats, an expensive dinner and a few other unmentioned things to keep that video off the internet, for now. Still the existence of the video on the face of the earth is threatening and believe you me, I am trying EVERYTHING to delete it.
I am never drinking again.